This “retro” episode was originally published as Episode 103.
Last week, we read an email from a listener who asked these questions:
- Do any of you out there have any personal experiences setting ultimatums with your addicts that were not respected, acknowledged or met with insult?
- How have you handled the negativity from your addict, and the anxiety and heartbreak of not knowing if the relationship will ever be restored?
- What has it looked like for you to practice loving detachment with an intimate partner through a separation or divorce?
- What is the next right thing to do once a boundary has been communicated?
So we thought, “maybe it’s time to talk about boundaries again.” We actually had a couple of earlier shows around this topic. Our very first episode was a 20 minute discussion of boundaries, and then in episode 44, we talked about setting boundaries without controlling.
Some discussion/thought questions about boundaries:
- What is a boundary?
- How does it differ from an ultimatum?
- How can I set a boundary that involves someone else’s behavior?
- What can I do when my boundaries are not respected?
- How do I feel when my boundaries are not respected by someone I love?
- How can loving detachment help me to maintain my boundaries?
- What if I don’t want to follow through with the consequences of my boundary having been violated?
- What happens (to me) if my boundaries turn out to be expectations?
- How does a boundary with my own behavior differ from a boundary with someone else’s behavior?
- How can I set up and follow through with consequences on a boundary with myself?
Our topic for next week is judgement. How does having judgement differ from being judgemental? Can judgement be both a character asset and a character defect? How do you judge others? How do you think others judge you? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email firstname.lastname@example.org with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
Music from the show
Tracy Chapman – Give Me One Reason
Ani DiFranco – Out of Range
AM – Boundaries