But now I know this:
I know that God exists.
I held her in my arms.
I never knew I was able to ever feel this strong.
Blue October — The Worry List
I have never felt more connected to God and the universe than when I first held my children in my arms. How is that we can create new life? How is it that these newly created people have their own identity, their own personality from the first moment? The love I have for my children must be something like the love God has for all of us.
As they grew up, I wanted to protect them and guide them, to insulate them from the bumps and pain of living. But, you know, they had their own ideas, their own goals, their own plans. The toddler who said “do it SELF!” became the teen whose ambitions sometimes outstripped her abilities, resulting in emergency room visits. (“Hi, this is Heather. Your daughter is OK, but you need to come and decide if she should go to the ER.”) Explorations of friendship turned into first loves, and eventual break-ups, with middle of the night drama. Late night exploration turned into an encounter with the law. Throughout, even when I was angry, scared, or just shaking my head in disbelief (“you did WHAT!?”), that core love never failed.
And so it is with God. I may or may not follow God's plan, but I know I am always loved, for what I am, for who I am, right now.
A meditation for August 16, 2013