Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.

Lao Tzu

My favorite part of that quote is “yet everything is accomplished.” I am a “hurry-er.” I hurry up and get there so that I can I hurry up and wait. I hurry up and finish my work so that I can hurry up and go do the next thing and hurry up to do the next thing after that. I hardly give myself a break. I chock my life so full of activities because I am afraid that if I don't do everything and do it all right now, it will never get done. And I am afraid if all of the things don't get done, people will be angry with me and leave me. This triggers my basic fears around being unlovable and less than others.

I love the part of this quote that says “yet everything is accomplished” because I hurry. I have hurried in the past. I have hurried and been frantic and codependent and scared, yet everything that my Higher Power wanted to accomplish was still accomplished. Today, when I find myself hurrying or panicking, I remember this quote and realize “well, I could hurry and book up my time down to the minute and feel miserable OR I could just slow down, tune into my serenity, and do the next right thing. Either way, what my Higher Power wants to be accomplished will be accomplished.” It is usually at this point that I realize that by hurrying, I am only making myself miserable.

I try, today, to remember that my timeline is a form of control. When I try to force my life, or relationships, or friends, or even recovery to go along my timeline, I am trying to control the situation. My Higher Power does not hurry. My life, relationships, friends, and I have not changed all at once due to one big miracle. Every day, my Higher Power sends me little miracles and everything is accomplished.

A meditation for June 27, 2013.

Broken Place – John Gorka*

*Thank you, Barbara, for your music suggestion