Al-Anon Slips – Episode 191

What does it mean to relapse in Al-Anon? Have you had an Al-Anon slip? What did you do to recover?

  • What is a “slip”? Is it just another word for “relapse”?
  • What do you think an “Al-Anon slip” is?
    • How do you know if you’re having (or if you had) one?
    • In AA, it’s “obvious”, but in Al-Anon, it’s more subtle.
  • What kinds of slips can you identify?
    • Controlling
    • Enabling
    • Emotional
    • Making another person your HP
  • Relate a story about a slip you had
    • A big one?
    • A little one?
  • How did it feel the same as before recovery?
  • How did it feel different?
  • What program tools did you use to recover from your slip?
  • How do you / can you detect that a slip is imminent and what can you do to prevent it?
    • What tools/slogans help?

Upcoming topics include obsessive thinking. How does your obsession with others behavior (such as drinking) make your life unmanageable? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

In response to a listener question, we suggested episode 78: Stay or Go?
Continue reading “Al-Anon Slips – Episode 191”

Sherry S. Open Talk – Episode 190

I hope you enjoy this open talk from Sherry S. I found wisdom and connection for myself.

Upcoming topics include Alateen. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

Being Ready – Episode 189

Happiness withinWhy did I come to Al-Anon when I did? Or, to ask it a different way, why didn’t I come sooner? What made me ready?

Why did I come to Al-Anon when I did? Or, why didn’t I come sooner?

  • Not understanding alcoholism.
    • I didn’t grow up with alcoholism
    • I thought my loved one’s behavior was a choice
    • So she just had to fix it.
  • Denying the problem.
    • It was her problem.
    • Not mine.
    • She just needed to “drink normally.”
  • Not seeing the problem.
    • My behavior was out of control.
    • But I couldn’t see that.
    • I didn’t connect my behavior to the alcoholism
  • Resistance
    • Therapists at treatment centers suggested it to me.
    • “Not my problem”
    • 12 steps were off-putting
    • I’m FINE
    • Not relating to the video on codependency
  • Shame and isolation
  • So, what happened?
  • A “moment of clarity”
    • Yet another “friends and family day” at yet another treatment center.
    • “YOU didn’t cause it, YOU can’t cure it, YOU can’t control it.”
    • Recognizing that it was NOT mine to fix.
    • Recognizing that I was miserable.
    • The “20 questions
  • The “last resort”
    • What else is there? What can it hurt to try it? (Al-Anon)
    • Even then, I resisted. When a friend offered to take me to a meeting that night, I said “I need to think about it.”
    • I thought about it for maybe 30 seconds.
  • Did I get here “right on time”?
    • I’m glad I didn’t take longer to get here, anyway.

Upcoming topics include Alateen, slogans, and parenting. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

In this episode, I mentioned the Intimacy open talks from last year.

Several listeners wrote in about Steve L’s talk on fear, faith, and surrender. One asked if there are other talks by him available. I found his talk on the Recovery Radio Network, where there are other talks by people named Steve L. (But I haven’t listened to them to know if they are the by the same person.)

Detachment with love – Episode 188

Do you get caught up in other people’s problems or emotions? Does the phrase “loving detachment” just baffle you?

We start with a reading from an Al-Anon flyer titled Detachment.

  • What thoughts about detachment does the reading bring up for you?
  • When you first heard the word “detachment” in a meeting, what did you think it meant?
  • Did “detachment with love” make any sense to you at all?
  • What is the difference between detachment and distancing or separation?
  • Why do I get angry? Fear. Because I care.
  • Maybe I have to become “indifferent” when moving from anger to love.
  • What forms of detachment have you found/learned?
    • Emotional — my emotions are not ruled by someone else’s.
    • Detaching the person from their disease (How Al-Anon Works, Detachment section in Chapter 11):

      If someone we love had the flu and cancelled plans with us, most of us would understand. We wouldn’t take it personally or blame the person for being inconsiderate or weak. Instead, in our minds, we would probably separate the person from the illness, knowing that it was the illness, rather than our loved one, that caused the change of plans. This is detachment.

    • Detaching from outcomes
  • How has detachment helped you?
    • Treating others with more kindness and compassion.
    • Give a power greater than myself a space to come in.
    • Not getting “pulled down”
    • Being able to love the person while hating their actions
    • Finding forgiveness
    • More serenity.

Upcoming topics include slogans (what’s your favorite?), Alateen, and parenting. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
Continue reading “Detachment with love – Episode 188”

Fear, Faith, and Surrender – Episode 187

Steve L shares his thoughts about fear, faith, and surrender in this AA talk.

What did this talk bring up for you? What thoughts do you have? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
Continue reading “Fear, Faith, and Surrender – Episode 187”