Why The Recovery Show – Episode 172

img_1195Why is there The Recovery Show?

September 30 is International Podcast Day, which “is dedicated to promoting Podcasting worldwide through education and public engagement.” … Well, that got me thinking about why I do this podcast, why I (with others) have created 172 episodes of The Recovery Show over the past 3 ½ years. So, here are some of those reasons.

  • I can do it.
    • Technical knowledge
    • Teaching background
  • Step 12 encourages me to “carry this message to others”.
  • How did it happen?
    • My sponsor asked me to participate in his podcast (AA focused recovery at recoveredcast.com)
    • I wanted to bring a little more Al-Anon content to his podcast and he said “why don’t you start your own?”
    • 2 friends agreed to help
  • It deepens my own program of recovery.
  • I have met (at least virtually) people from all over the US and the world.
  • You let me know that it is valuable to you.
  • You support me.
    • Financially
    • Through your sharing (email and voice mail)
    • By giving me topic ideas and music suggestions.
    • By participating in the show.

This is a “we” program. I cannot do my recovery alone and I cannot do this podcast alone. Even though it is often me, sitting in front of a microphone by myself, you are there with me, sitting across the desk from me, as I talk. And, I think, that is the bottom line of why I continue to produce this podcast. It brings us together in recovery; it connects me to you, and you, and you.

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Dawn C – Open talk – Episode 171

DSC_5860This week, we present an open talk by an Al-Anon “long timer”, Dawn C.

Upcoming topics include courage, fear, faith, and worry. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

Year of Yes – Episode 170

sing joyouslyCan you say “Yes” and mean it? When is it better to say “No”?

I recently read a book, Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes, subtitled “How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun and Be Your Own Person.” Much of what I read resonated with the work I’ve been doing in recovery, so I thought I’d try to express that resonance here.

  • Basic connections between her story and mine:
    • Contrast between “inside” and “outside”. Or maybe I should say “outside” and “inside.”
      • Outwardly successful in many ways.
      • Inwardly isolating and “stuffing” (feelings and food)
    • There is a “bottom” and a “moment of clarity.” Sparked by her sister’s observation that “you never say yes to anything”.
      • “I am miserable. ¶ Admitting this takes my breath away. I feel as though I am revealing new information to myself. Learning a secret I’ve been keeping from myself. ¶ I am miserable. ¶ Truly, deeply unhappy.”
    • She recognized the need for change, and committed (to herself and her friends) to say “Yes” to everything that scared her for a year.
      • “Am going to say yes to anything and everything that scares me. For a whole year. Or until I get scared to death and you have to bury me. Ugh.”
    • Emotional blackouts
    • Her logic: “• Saying no has gotten me here. • Here sucks. • Saying yes might be my way to someplace better. … [or] at least someplace different.”
      • My entry into recovery: Trying to fix got me here. Here sucks. Trying Al-Anon might be my way to someplace better or at least someplace different.
    • Both of us have patterns set in childhood
      • isolating, living in her imagination
      • Fixing, rescuing, co-dependency
  • Chapter titles include
  • Yes to speaking the whole truth
    • My recovery: knowing who I am and living it. Being authentic.
  • Yes to surrendering the Mommy War
    • My recovery: It is ok to ask for (and accept) help
  • Yes to all play and no work
    • My recovery: take time for the things that feed ME, my soul
  • Yes to my body
    • My recovery: Take care of myself
  • Yes to joining the club
    • My recovery: I am a capable person, I have strengths, I don’t have to hide them, and I don’t have to compare myself to others (to my detriment)
  • Yes, Thank You
    • My recovery: I can accept praise without diminishing it. “Thank you.” is a complete sentence.
  • Yes to more year of yes
    • My recovery: This is a lifelong process. And I want to do it.
  • Yes to No, Yes to difficult conversations
    • My recovery: I can say “no”. (“No.” is a complete sentence.)
  • Yes to people
    • My recovery: I am not alone. The recovery community is here for me.
    • My family is here for me.
  • Yes to who I am
    • My recovery: learning who I am, and loving who I am (and changing the things I don’t want to be.)

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

 

Feelings – Episode 169

conflictHave you ever felt controlled by your feelings? What feelings could you identify in the past? How do you balance feelings and facts?

  • Were you able to identify feelings (before recovery)?
  • What did you feel?
  • Did you feel?
  • Did you think that certain feelings were “good” and others were “bad”?
  • Did it seem you had to act on/react to your feelings?
  • How did you deny/push down/hide from feelings?
  • Have you heard the saying, “feelings are not facts”?
  • What does it mean to you?
  • How do you use it now?
  • Have you found a “feeling vocabulary” in recovery?
  • How do you respond to feelings now?
  • How are you able to feel, but act from your head?
  • How can you accept that you have feelings, and that they do not have to control your actions?
  • How have your feelings changed?
  • What slogans or tools help you to deal with how you feel?
    • Let go and let God.
    • This too shall pass.
    • Just for today.
    • One day at a time.
    • Easy does it.
    • First things first.
    • Prayer and meditation.
    • Inventory
  • How have you become more aware of and able to feel?

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
Continue reading “Feelings – Episode 169”

Spencer’s Open Talk – Episode 168

DSC_9877What was it like? What happened? And what is it like now?

Spencer was invited to give an “open talk” recently, and he elected to use this traditional format.

It starts with “what happened?” With that moment when the reality of his powerlessness and the unmanageability of his life crashed down on him. When he heard that “You didn’t cause it, you can’t cure it, and you can’t control it.” And when those words lifted a weight from his shoulders that he hadn’t realized he was carrying. That he had been trying to accomplish the impossible: to make his loved one stop drinking.

He came to see that his journey to Al-Anon has really started much earlier. He believed that it was his job, his task in life, to “rescue” others. And so, maybe it is no surprise that he fell in love with and married an alcoholic. Because, who needs “fixing” or “rescuing” more than an alcoholic. Not that he recognized that at the time!

He came to his first Al-Anon meeting almost unwillingly. After all, he was not the one with the “problem.” But nothing was working, and his life was miserable, so maybe, just maybe, this Al-Anon thing would help.

His recovery story includes coming to understand what “working the steps” means, and learning to trust others with the reality of his life. It includes finding freedom from anger, fear, despair, and rage. It includes experiencing serenity, even when his life was still in the midst of chaos.

And, it includes finding an answer to what seemed an unanswerable question: “I can’t live this way, but I can’t leave either. What can I do!?” The answer turns out to be “I can live.”

Upcoming topics include sorrow and feelings. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.