Mary Pearl T on Steps 6-9 – Episode 209

Mary Pearl is open and honest, with a wonderful sense of humor. This is part of a longer talk, so it starts in the middle of an anecdote. She talks here about Steps 6, “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character”, 7, “Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings”, 8, “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all,” and 9, “Made direct amends to such people, wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” Her talk is full of stories from her own life, which make me grin, make me think, and make me cry.

On Step 8: “I had hurt nearly everyone that I had ever come in contact with that I had allowed to care for me.”

She ends with her understanding of the promises.

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecovery.show with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.

Humility – Episode 208

Is humility the same thing as humiliation? How does humility help me change?

Definition from Merriam-Webster:  freedom from pride or arrogance :  the quality or state of being humble

  • What is the difference between humility and humiliation?
  • Some have compared humility to teachability. How do you understand this statement?
  • How does humility help keep me from trying to control people and situations?
  • How Al-Anon Works says “True humility is based upon letting go of self-will and relying instead upon the will of our Higher Power.”
  • In the “Lois’s Story” chapter in How Al-Anon Works, she writes, “‘Humbly’ was a word I never fully understood. It used to seem servile to me. Today it means seeing myself in true relation to my fellow man and to God.”
  • What is the connection between anonymity, as we practice it, and humility?
  • How is humility part of taking care of ourselves, rather than taking care of others?

Eric read from “The Paradoxical Power of Humility“.

Upcoming topics include “the 3 P’s”, perfection, procrastination, and paralysis. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Controlling Behavior – Episode 207

thinkingDo you believe you can control another person’s drinking? Or maybe all of their behavior? What consequences have your attempts to control led to?

I recently started working the steps with an AWOL group (A Way Of Life). In our first meeting, we agreed to address the first 5 questions about Step 1 in the book Paths to Recovery. (Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.)

  1. Do I accept that I cannot control another person’s drinking? Another person’s behavior?
  2. How do I recognize that the alcoholic is an individual with habits, characteristics and ways of reacting to daily happenings that are different from mine?
  3. Do I accept that alcoholism is a disease? How does that change how I deal with a drinker?
  4. How have I tried to change others in my life? What were the consequences?
  5. What means have I used to get what I want and need? What might work better to get my needs met?

Upcoming topics include “the 3 P’s: Perfectionism, Procrastination, and Paralysis”. We will also be addressing more questions from Paths to Recovery: How do I feel when the alcoholic refuses to be and do what I want? How do I respond? What would happen if I stopped trying to change the alcoholic or anyone else? How can I let go of another’s problems instead of trying to solve them? Am I looking for a quick fix to my problems? Is there one? In what situations do I feel excessive responsibility for other people? In what situations do I feel shame or embarrassment for someone else’s behavior?

Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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It’s the Journey – Episode 206

How has your past shaped you? Do you sometimes feel you can’t escape it, and that you will never “get it”?

Recently, I heard a couple of statements that, in my head, connected to recovery.

“We are not defined by what we did or who we were. Those are only the things that brought us to who we are now.”

“This is who I am now, and I know I will be different later. Life is about the journey, not the destination.”

Exploring these ideas:

  • What are my expectations of myself?
  • How are they shaped by my past experience?
  • In what ways do they not match my current reality?
  • How do I know?
  • What program tools can help me see that I am not my past?
    • Inventory (Step 4)
    • Gratitude list.
  • What tools can help me be more the person I want to be?
    • Detachment
    • Committing to change (Steps 6 & 7)
    • Amends (Steps 8, 9, 10)
    • Spiritual connection (Step 11)
  • How does seeing life as a journey feed my serenity?
    • Slogans: Progress not perfection. (not an official Al-Anon slogan?)
    • Easy does it.
    • One day at a time.

Upcoming topics include “The 3 P’s: Perfection, Paralysis, and Procrastination”. Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.
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Corrie L. Open Talk – Episode 205

I connected with a lot of what Corrie shared. I hope you enjoy her talk as much as I did.

Upcoming topics include the 3 P’s: Perfectionism, Procrastination, and Paralysis. Do you find it hard to get started because you’re afraid you can’t do it perfectly? Please call us at 734-707-8795 or email feedback@therecoveryshow.com with your questions or experience, strength and hope. Or just leave a comment right here.